


Pour Revenir

by limesicle



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, M/M, Reincarnation, Tragedy, nonlinear plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 09:43:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1644233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limesicle/pseuds/limesicle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I will always return."</p><p>Eren and Jean are separated with an untimely death.  When they are separated in one life, they make an attempt to reunited in another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pour Revenir

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> "Pour Revenir" means "to return" in French. I know Eren and Jean are both (probably) German, but Jean is a French name and I like french. Hence the title.
> 
> This work is experimental, so I hope you like it. Please let me know <3

 

The sun lies low.  The last rays of day shine blood red over the equally red landscape.  In the stillness of the sunset echoes the screams of those who died and the sobs of those who survived.

 

***

_I lay in the grass breathing unevenly and taking shallow breaths to fill my lungs with oxygen.  My head ached and my pulse thundered in my ears and pounded in my chest.  My chest felt hollow and my heart beat like a pounding drum.  Still, beyond that drumbeat, I could hear a voice calling my name._

_That voice sounded desperate and familiar, close but still so far away, intimate yet fading.  I forced my eyes open, and the light of the sun made me flinch slightly.  The world felt too bright, and the light was pressing down on me stifling my breathing and making me choke on the air._

_“Eren,” he called with a softness I’d never heard in that voice before._

_“Eren,” he whispered as if to a lover._

_“Eren,” he murmured in a soft goodbye._

  


***

 

The journey back was too long.  The ranks of the survey corps, or the former survey corps, had dwindled yet again.  Most of the legion had been reduced to jointly acting squads.  Jean surveyed the terrain around them.  The landscape was drenched in the brilliant red of blood.  For an instant, he turned to look behind him to watch the last rays of the sun die and leave them in darkness.

 

He didn’t cry; his tears had been spent years ago.  His eyes once springs of grief had been spent, and he was left with a parched mourning that would never leave him.  Victory was bitter in the wake of who he had lost: Marco, his first friend; Mikasa, his first love; Levi, his guiding officer; and Eren, his rival, his best friend, his last love. _I never told him_.

 

Those words echoed in his mind an undying mantra as he lived his life comfortably as a hero of humanity.  Jean stood in the forefront of the heroes as they rode back.  He was the one who had lead them--the one who had taken a stand when Erwin had been taken away from them.

 

***

_The day seemed too long, and the halls too quiet.  The Survey Corps--what was left of it--was huddled in the ruins of an abandoned building; there happened to be a lot of them in what was left of Shiganshina._

_It had taken months, years almost, for them to arrive back in the district where it had all began.  They were all older and wiser for their journey, but also sadder and more mature than anyone their age should have to be.  Eren was hardly 18, and yet his smile that had once been simply rare, was nonexistent.  Armin, who had always been quiet, only spoke to detail strategies.  And Mikasa, who used to watch the world, would sit clutching her scarf like it was the only thing that bound her to the earth._

_The angry passion of youth had fled, and they were left with a sombre hatred for titans and their fellow humans who had locked them outside of the innermost walls._

_Jean sat by himself.  His face was turned towards the window, out of which the gaping hole left by the first attack on a wall could be seen.  Quiet footsteps approached him; he didn’t stir when Eren sat near him nor did he speak.  But there was beauty in their silence, more than any words could have conveyed.  The shared pain was etched in both of their faces as they sat staring past the old ruins in front of them._

  


***

 

The loud buzzing of the alarm clock woke Eren that morning.  His hand slammed down on the offending piece of technology, but he quickly recoiled.  His hand had scraped against something and it hurt like hell.  “Goddammit!”  He was already swearing, and it was still before 7 o’clock in the morning.

 

The teenager rubbed his eyes vigorously and groaned.  It was a school day, and, like most other mornings, he did not want to go to stupid Trost High and get yelled at by the short, but ferocious teacher, Levi.

 

“Eren!” A voice called from outside his door accompanied by a gentle knocking.

 

He knew immediately who that belonged to and why she was knocking on his door.

 

“I’ll be down in a sec, Mika!”  He replied, and hoisted himself, half-heartedly, from his comfy, cozy bed.

 

Eren flinched when his feet hit the cold floor beneath him.  He had no carpet in his room and the finished wood provided no warmth.  The teenager tiptoed hurriedly to his closet and grabbed his clothes.  He hopped around his room readying himself for the day.  With one last glance around the small space, he turned and took the stairs down three at a time, jumping the last five, and landing with a loud crash at the bottom of the stairs.

 

Mikasa looked up from her breakfast with eyes that said “did you really _have_ to do that?”  He merely grinned at his adopted sister and walked over to the fridge to find something edible.  Their mother insisted on eating “healthily,” and although thought this a noble pursuit, he did not enjoy eating raw fruit and whole wheat bread for breakfast.

 

Ten minutes later, the two siblings were headed towards the bus stop by their house.  They were half-way through the fall semester of their third year of high school.  Mikasa was on track to be valedictorian; she knew even though it was not publicly announced, because all of the teachers loved her.  Armin would have been another good candidate, but he was just too shy.  

 

The blonde boy met them smiling at the bus stop.  The three were an inseparable trio; they had known each other since they had been toddlers, and their parents were close.

 

***

 

_The light seemed to envelop him and as his world became increasingly bright, his pain was washed away.  The aches and bruises of the fight were gone, as well as the much larger pain of the last injury he had endured--the one that had been the end of his life as a titan shifter.  Like all titans, he had a vital point--one that would stop his regeneration and kill him if hit.  The soreness in the back of his neck vanished quickly, and Eren found himself standing in what could only be described as a pool of light._

_The brunette stood quietly waiting for something to happen.  He felt tense and unsure, not knowing what was coming next.  Although the physical pain of the battle was gone, his heart still ached.  Something was pulling him away--pulling him back--back to- what?_

_Eren turned his head to look behind him.  There was nothing but light.  A frown creased his forehead and a single thought filled his mind.  “I have to return.”_

***

 

Jean was dropped off by his adoring french mother.  She left him at the doorstep of his new school with a sloppy kiss and a “je t’aime!”  The sulky teenager turned towards the door, wishing wholeheartedly that his mother would stop embarrassing him.

 

The blonde walked towards his classroom--or at least, the place where he was told his class was supposed to be.  He really had no idea where he was going, but he was sure that he wasn’t going to like his class.  With that unpleasant thought, he pushed open the door of the class and strode in.  He was met with an icy grey stare and an incredibly short teacher.

 

“Ah, so you’re the new brat, Kirschstein.”

 

Jean flinched.  “Um, hi?”  He hadn’t meant it to come out as a question, and he glared at the annoying brown-haired idiot who laughed at him.

 

“Jaeger, stop guffawing like a monkey, and say ‘hi’ to the newbie.”  

 

 _Jaeger?_  Jean echoed.  For some reason, that name struck a chord with him.  It was a name that he had always clung onto, a sound that was a comforting lullaby and- what the hell was he thinking?  Jean’s forehead creased as he glared at this Jaeger kid.  He definitely did not like him.

 

“I’m sorry, Levi, sir!”  Eren called quickly.  “Hey newbie!”  Jean scowled, but Eren’s face was a wide smile.  They made eye contact for a second, and Jean felt a bolt of electricity pass through him.  Was this kid wearing colored contacts?  Because, if he wasn’t, his eyes were ridiculously green.  

 

“...with the monkey, I mean, Jaeger.”  Jean turned back to his teacher, only then realizing that the man had been speaking.

 

“Huh?”  He asked stupidly.

 

“Kirschstein, I’m being nice since it’s your first day, however,” The man paused, and the glare he sent Jean made the blonde shudder.  “I will personally kick your ass if you aren’t sitting down in three seconds.”

 

With that, Jean scuttled to his seat next to the boy with beautiful eyes-what was he thinking?  He was being forced to sit next to this jerk, who was laughing at the way he had just been told off by a teacher he had only known for a few minutes.

 

***

_Time passed by slowly, and I saw him time and time again.  But every time I reached out to call his name, he would turn away, the bastard.  Sometimes, I would get my hopes up, when I thought I saw him flinch at the sound of my voice, but he never turned._

_He was deaf to me, because he had thought I was gone forever.  “I’m right here!”  I tried to yell, but he kept his back to me._

_It took me ages, lifetimes, eons to figure out how I could make him hear me.  But when I did figure it out, it seemed simple.  I had been an idiot._

_“Jean.”_

***

 

The second semester of the school year was almost over.  Snow coated the ground and crunched beneath the feet of hundreds of high schoolers every day on their way in and out of Trost High.  The school by itself was average.  No one remarkable ever seemed to graduate from Trost, but that didn’t matter.  At least, not to Eren and his two best friends.  Because, despite how smart they were, they never did leave Eren behind to struggle by himself.

 

The brunette was thankful for the sacrifice, but he always hated the way he held them back.  Mikasa, Armin, go on without me.  He would think, but he never spoke the words aloud; he never wanted to push them away.  However, in the glances that passed between Mikasa and Armin, he found that he could no longer know them intimately.  They talked without him too often, and Eren knew it.  But the three of them never mentioned it; that was an unspoken contract between them.  There would always be a bond between them no matter what.

 

In the last weeks of the semester, three became four.  As Mikasa and Armin drew together, Eren found himself in the company of the transfer student more often than not.  Despite some initial hostilities, their relationship had developed into friendship.  Occasionally, one or the other could be caught simply staring at their friend, but neither of them spoke of that either.  They were just friends, right?  

 

It wasn’t until the nightmares began to come that Eren remembered.  One day, after waking, the last image of his dream stayed imprinted on his eyelids for the rest of the day, and the days to come.  He had seen Jean’s face looking at him with tears in his eyes, begging Eren not to leave.

 

That day, the two friends quarrelled.  The usual snappy comments went too far, and they were left separated and broken.  They didn’t talk for the rest of the day, or the next, or the day after that.  The only communication was the silent glares from across the classroom.  Eren’s accusatory, and sometimes teary, stare began to haunt Jean, both in the day and after he closed his eyes to sleep.

 

The two became restless and weary.  It was hard to ignore each other, but each of them had too much pride to simply say “I’m sorry,” and make their friendship whole again.  

 

***

_It was too late, and I knew it.  The sun died as I watched the one person I truly loved fade in my arms.  His strength waned with the oncoming darkness._

_I put a hand over his eyes and gently closed them.  His bright green eyes would never see again.  Even though he lay still, his skin was still warm.  There was a semblance of life in him as he lay spread-eagled with his eyes closed.  There was blood, his blood, but he had survived so many times before.  Eren had courted death and returned to the living unscathed many times, but not now._

_I never told him._

***

 

As the weeks to the end of the semester turned into days, the hours dragged on in the same manner.  Eren would let his gaze wander to Jean for a moment, only to force it back down at his notebook before his ex-friend would notice.  His mouth was set in a hard line, and he had gone from cheery and talkative, to standoffish and irritable.

 

Needless to say, Armin and Mikasa had noticed.  It was Armin who broke the spell, and reached out to Eren.

 

“I don’t need your help, Armin.”  That was the only reply the blonde recieved, and try as he might, his once-best-friend seemed to have been replaced by someone else.

 

Another day passed, and Armin wracked his brains for something to do.  As a final resort, he decided to talk to Jean.  After all, he was the other half of the problem, but he received the same answer.  “I don’t need your help.”  

 

The next school year, nothing changed.  Perhaps Eren talked to fewer people, and Jean struck up a friendship with Marco.  Although Eren glared at the happy pair, he never said a word. Maybe it was pride.  

 

Armin tried to get them to talk again, but this time it was “don’t interfere.”  Two months later, rumour had it that Jean and Marco were a “thing.”  When Eren heard, his throat tightened and his fists clenched, but he kept his silence. _He’s happy now, and that should be enough._

 

The time until graduation occurred passed by quickly.  Mikasa was indeed the valedictorian, and she was the shining star of the school.  No one noticed her brother who sat quietly in the audience.

 

***

 

It had been a decade since they graduated from high school.  Armin was a marine biologist, and he spent the majority of his time researching.  He wore his hair in a ponytail, and he was lightly tan from days of field study.  Mikasa, on the other hand, stood straight and tall with her well-defined muscles.  Instead of becoming a doctor, like she had once intended, she had become a boxer, and a good one at that.

 

Eren had attended art school.  His career choice had shocked the people who knew him.  Eren Jaeger an artist?  Whenever he was asked, he would simply smile and his green eyes would twinkle in a certain way.  His gallery had just recently opened, and though he wasn’t making much money, he somehow found a way to get by.  Mikasa and Armin always tried to supply him with extra funds, but Eren always found a way to refuse.

 

It was the first day of spring that they met again.  Jean was taller than he had been in high school, but he still kept his characteristic hairstyle.  He was waiting for a train, when someone bumped into him, quite literally.  Jean could have sworn his heart stopped for a moment when he saw who it was.

 

“Eren?”  He asked unbelieving.

 

Their eyes met for the first time in a decade, but the sparks that flew between them hadn’t dulled at all.  If anything, that magnetism had grown.  Any past arguments were forgotten.  

 

“Jean?”  Eren echoed his voice slightly hoarse and his previous commitment forgotten.

 

They stood for a moment eyes locked on each others faces.

 

“I’ve returned.”  They spoke at the same time, voices hardly more than a whisper.

 

***

_For the first time in an eternity, he turned around.  His eyebrows lifted in slight surprise.  But the moment his eyes met mine, his face broke into a wide smile, one that I had never encountered on him while we had been living._

_“Eren!” He called to me, a joy in his voice that I had never heard before._

_I had promised him before, but I would promise him again._

_I will always return._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that wasn't too confusing! (Sorry, if it was, that was my first time trying something like that.
> 
> Anyway, the gist of the story is:
> 
> Eren dies. Jean cries over him. They meet again in a modern setting. After getting into a small fight over nothing really in high school, they don't meet for ten years. But in that ten years, they mature and get over the stupid things keeping them apart. After all, love runs deeper than hate.
> 
> Also, what's with the bright light? That's like the "in-between" space. It's not exactly heaven/hell/whatever; it's more of a "waiting room" where Eren's consciousness (and Jean's, too!) dwell when it's not on earth... if that makes sense.
> 
> Anyway, any comments/criticism/suggestions are appreciated! Thank you for reading :)


End file.
